August 07, 2008 »
Anthrax Killer Acted Alone...Well, That's Good Enough For Me
So the government says that Bruce Ivins did it all by himself, there was no conspiracy, nobody else was involved, all those strange coincidences are just in fact strange coincidences, nothing to see here, move on, trust your government.
It's just too bad that Ivins was shot by Jack Ruby while in police custody killed himself before we could find out the whole truth.
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August 06, 2008 »
But He Can't Be Wounded 'Cause He's Got No Heart
Kidnapping his daughter. Having a shady past. Won't provide his identity to authorities. Possibly implicated in a murder.
I'm very disappointed in you, Elvis Costello.
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July 31, 2008 »
Presented Without Comment
From Boston.com.
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You Don't Have To Be Crazy To Pepetrate Violent Acts In The Name Of Right-Wing Causes, But It Sure Helps!
Shooting up a church in Tennessee because they're Unitarian Univeralists, and are openly accepting and welcoming of gay people. Found at the shooter's house are books by prominent conservative authors.
Teenagers beat to death a Mexican man in Pennsylvania, not far from Hazleton, where they tried to pass a series of tough-on-illegal-immigrant laws.
Where DO they learn this stuff?
It's comforting (yeah, maybe wishful thinking) to think that conservatism and Republicanism and bigotry might someday be on the way out. It's scary to think how much of this we have to look forward to while it goes down.
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July 29, 2008 »
The Saddest Parade Ever
The torch may have been passed - to this Canada Day celebration in Iqaluit, Nunavut.
I don't know what's most awesome - the patriotic gusto of the lead flag-waving Mountie, or the spectator, who no doubt is thinking, "Oh God, here they come, glad I remembered to bring my tiny flag". Either way, the whole thing reminds me of a Monty Python skit directed by Christopher Guest.
(Thanks Josh for sending me this.)
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Dear Fenway Fans
Anybody who was doing the Wave last night in the eighth inning when the Sox were down by three, with two on and threatening for more, do everyone a favor. Give your tickets to someone who actually wants to be at a baseball game. Then you can go to the beach and frolic around all you want, or better yet, shoot yourself. I know you were still on your "Sweet Caroline" high, but seriously. Go to Dick's Last Resort or something and stop embarassing me.
UPDATE: I didn't watch the game last night (Lackey's near no-hitter) so I can't confirm this, but if they indeed played "Sweet Caroline" last night and people were indeed singing about how they feel "so good! so good! so good!" while the Red Sox were being no-hit, well. These people need to die in a fire. The sooner the better.
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July 25, 2008 »
The Map That Made Me Happy Today
...is Zogby's electoral map. I know, too early, polls are unreliable, blah blah blah. But if Indiana, South Carolina and freakin' Montana are purple at this point, this could be a very fun November indeed. And could John McCain get 200,000 Germans to hear him speak if he gave out free beer?
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July 17, 2008 »
Time to Fess Up
I haven't written anything for a couple weeks, I know. Truth is, I've been working on something secret and awesome. Without exaggerating, it's like a million times better than LOLbowski.
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June 30, 2008 »
This Gets Me Mad
People are debating whether or not Curt Schilling belongs in the Hall of Fame.
When, exactly, did the Hall of Fame become the Hall of Math? A common argument against Schilling is that Bert Blyleven had better numbers, or Tommy John had a slightly lower [(walks/inning * park-adjusted ERA)/(K/balk ratio in day games * the square root of switch-hitting opponents' batting average on artificial turf)] so there's no way Schilling should get in until they do.
Hogwash. Schilling was a very good regular season pitcher and a transcendent pitcher when the stakes were the highest. Maybe (well...definitely) I'm biased, but the guy helped carry Arizona to a championship, and he carried the Sox to a World Series win when his foot was attached by rubber bands and Popsicle sticks.
The Hall of Fame test, which I always thought and Bill Simmons elucidated nicely, is, will you ever tell your grandkids that you watched someone play. People will be talking about Schill for decades to come. Did anyone ever buy a ticket to a Twins game because Blyleven was pitching?
It amazes me how many Hall of Fame voters base their votes on numbers and numbers alone. If that's what gets you into the Hall, why use voters at all? Why not just let a computer decide?
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June 27, 2008 »
Cheaper Than Heating Oil
I know it's early to be thinking about winter, but if you're concerned about heating costs, this might be the thing for you. A fireplace - or even a pit - and all the conservative literature you can handle, just about as cheap as newspaper. With the added bonus of watching certain faces crinkle in the flames. Good times.
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June 26, 2008 »
What does (limited) mean?
Youth in Revolt has a "limited" release on December 5th. Um....need more information please!!! I will go to New York for this if I must. LA or Cannes will be tricky. But maybe since CD Payne went to Harvard, Boston will be one of the first cities to get it. How am I going to keep myself occupied for five more months?
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June 25, 2008 »
The Future of Video Games
For someone who spent 96.4% of his sixteenth year on the Commodore 64, it's surprising how fast video games and I parted ways. I finally bought a Playstation to play sports games (about 45 minutes after I got it home, they announced the release of the PS2) and I fumbled with Guitar Hero once for about 20 forgettable minutes. But your Wiis and your XBoxes and such are foreign to me.
So I read this article, on the next 25 years of video games, with a healthy mixture of fear and awe. Some highlights:
Spore and PS3 Home are still made up of people and therefore a certain percentage of those wondrous new universes will be composed of dicks. At some point you will travel to a wondrous new Spore world and find the creatures there have evolved to have hides covered in porn URLs.
...
Electronic Arts could crank out a Shrek 9 game in a couple of weeks that features nothing more than Shrek standing in your front yard, quietly staring and occasionally farting. The whole time your brain will be telling you it's the most fun you've ever had.
Also, the article is about 145% better considering the occasional insertion of the Burger King.
(First seen at Ezra Klein.
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June 19, 2008 »
"Let It Ride" - A Revere Vignette
After the parade, I decided to take a roundabout, fairly scenic route home. So I found myself on an MBTA bus in Revere, where this astounding conversation took place.
Our dramatis personae include our two main characters - let's call them Paul and Louie. You know the type. Friendly, chatty, maybe - and I mean this in the least cruel way possible - a little soft in the head. The kind of guys who will come up to you at the bus stop and make you wish you had headphones on, because they're too dopey to be interesting to talk to, and too amiable to just tell to screw off.
Our third character is a heavyset guy named Vic. Now this isn't strictly relevant to the story, but it's what caught my eye and ear in the first place. Vic had a...well, I hate to throw the word "toupee" around, especially when that word is patently inadequate to describe the marvel of architectural engineering perched atop Vic. Let's just say he could have strapped a live tabby-cat to his head and it would have been less conspicuous.
Paul and Louie, clearly, are single gentlemen, and the topic of discussion quickly turned to Paul's reluctance to try Internet dating. Louie was game for the pep talk to end all pep talks. He stressed the smallness of the fees involved, he talked up the diverse and many sites that Paul could avail himself of. Nowhere in this did Louie indicate any personal success with same, but clearly he thought this was the route for Paul to take.
Louie's patter was almost hypnotic. Every time he reached the crescendo of the point he was making, he'd say "let it ride", and go in to Paul for a fist bump/dap/terrorist hand signal. Paul always was a little slow to respond, but never once left Louie hanging.
Also, after every third sentence (I was keeping track by this point), Louie would punctuate his spiel with a, "Right, Vic?" As in, "We've all been there, right, Vic?", or "You gotta let it ride, right, Vic?!" Vic would always nod or grunt noncommitally, though I can imagine the extracranial pressure he was under would render conversation difficult.
This went on for some time, with Louie extolling the virtues of the Internet to kickstart Paul's love life. But after a few stops, Vic got off the bus, possibly to avoid having to slit his wrists, and Louie and Paul followed a couple of stops later.
So we may never know how this saga ends. But it's good to know that Louie and Paul - and maybe Vic - are out there on the prowl, just lettin' it ride for all us sinners.
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Parade Photos
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June 18, 2008 »
Quote of the Year
"I got my own. I got my own. I hope we made you proud." - Kevin Garnett, to Bill Russell.
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June 13, 2008 »
10 Years...Coming Up
Mid-August. Somewhere in Greater Boston. There will be some sort of celebration to commemorate ten years of sporadic posting, epic procrastination and occasional yuks. Yes, the BunkoSquad 10th Anniversary Party. If you're reading this, consider yourself invited. Please please PLEASE email me (bunkosquad@gmail.com) if you think you can make it and want to get updates when I know more.
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June 09, 2008 »
The Big LOLbowski....The Unveiling
Presenting.....The Big LOLbowski.
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