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January 30, 2002
Since you asked...yes, I'm a
Since you asked...yes, I'm a little bitter that BunkoSquad is the only media outlet in New England that doesn't have a representative in New Orleans this week.
Posted by Michael at 11:33 PM | Comments (0)
Here's what I think.
Here's what I think. Every year in spring training, I compare the Red Sox roster to the Yankees' and analyze them position by position. Every new Celtics season, I try to envision the ideal first-round playoff matchup for them. Every time I buy a scratch ticket, I have the same daydream about cashing the check. In short, I look for ways that things will work out right...and am inevitably disappointed when they crash and burn.
So in that vain, I freely admit that there's no way the Patriots can beat St. Louis on Sunday. The Rams are faster, stronger, bigger, more experienced, and have God on their side. They could play blindfolded and still win. If the Rams' hotel burned to the ground tonight, I'd still pick them and give the Pats 14 points. I think Kurt Warner will return a punt for a touchdown. The Patriots were not only lucky to beat Pittsburgh and Oakland; they were lucky to only lose to Cincinnati by 6 on Opening Day. I think Terry Glenn will be the only guy on the New England offense who doesn't spend the night in Orleans Parish General. My over/under on Rams points is 134. Tom Brady, Drew Bledsoe, Damon Huard...all will be Aeneas Williams' butlers by the end of the day. I think Faulk, Canidate, Mike Martz, U2 frontman Bono, and Cardinals skipper Tony LaRussa will all rush for over 100 yards. I think the Rams will bring William 'The Refrigerator' Perry in to score a ceremonial touchdown.
So if, by admitting all this, it means I force a Patriots upset...well, I've been wrong before. I can take it.
Posted by Michael at 11:25 PM | Comments (0)
January 27, 2002
From CNN.com: CHARLESTON, West Virginia
From CNN.com:
CHARLESTON, West Virginia (AP) -- President Bush says between going to war and raising twins, he'd choose war.
What does he mean, exactly? That when his twins were born, was he allowed into the Texas Parenting National Guard while someone else did the parenting? That he'd bomb some other country to avoid any questions about whether "reckless youthful behavior" runs in the family? That he really equates his (gulp) access to the country's nuclear weapons to having to change 2 diapers? Or that he's just a jerk?
If anyone needs me between now and November 2004, I'll be in front of the local elementary school, waiting for the polls to open.
Posted by Michael at 11:48 PM | Comments (0)
The Patriots are going to
The Patriots are going to the Superbowl. Um. Wow. I mean...um. Wow. Reports are that on Saturday, the Steelers and Raiders will play a "We Should Be There; We're Better Than Them" consolation game. Just whine, baby.
Posted by Michael at 05:10 PM | Comments (0)
January 25, 2002
Former Enron exec J. Clifford
Former Enron exec J. Clifford Baxter killed himself today, despite grabbing $35 million in stock sales while he and a few friends knew how doomed the company was. Or maybe he sensed that, when the Congresspeople you've been greasing for years suddenly turn on you, and even the President and John Ashcroft wash their hands of you...well boy, you're ****ed harder than a doughy middle-aged former energy company executive thrown into the general population at Huntsville Prison. Well, if there was a chance any of these guys might serve a day in jail, that is.
Interestingly, on the news of Baxter's suicide, many Wall Street firms said this is a great time to buy Enron stock.
Posted by Michael at 11:24 PM | Comments (0)
US civilians killed on September
US civilians killed on September 11: 2,998.
Afghanistani civilians killed since then: 3,767.
So did we win? Is that justice? Is terrorism done yet? I'm a little fuzzy on this.
In site news, the phrase "From Here To Eternity" could refer to how long it's going to take me to finish all my movie reviews, but it actually is the title of the latest one.
Posted by Michael at 10:23 PM | Comments (1)
January 20, 2002
Happy Birthday, sooz! New England
Happy Birthday, sooz!
New England Non-Sequiturs, apropos of nothing: Coworkers and I were discussing how to tell if somebody grew up in this part of the country. The solution: ask them, "What makes an ocean wave wave?" If they go, "Huh?", they're not from here. If they start actually telling you what makes an ocean wave wave, they're no friends of yours. But if they immediately flap their arms and go, "I can walk like a penguin!"...chances are they're from Greater Boston.
Posted by Michael at 09:40 PM | Comments (0)
January 13, 2002
Here's a timeline of today's
Here's a timeline of today's events in Washington, that none of those so-called "reputable" news organizations will report:
5:35 PM: President George W. Bush faints after choking on a pretzel, while watching the Dolphins-Ravens playoff game.
5:43 PM: Dick Cheney is whisked to an undisclosed location to keep an eye on events.
6:03 PM: Pundits Andrew Sullivan and George Will appear on CNN to decry a lack of pretzelmaker regulation under the Clinton Administration.
6:34 PM: An Auntie Anne's pretzel booth at the Owensboro, Kentucky mall is vandalized and spray-painted with patriotic and anti-terrorist slogans.
7:12 PM: 653-pound defenseman Tony Siragusa celebrates a Ravens' victory with, among other things, a half-digested pretzel airlifted in from Washington.
7:52 PM: Gallup reports that President Bush's approval rating is now at 99.73%.
8:20 PM: A shaken but undeterred Bush appears on TV; he explains why his near-death experience had stiffened his resolve to get his massive tax cut package passed.
8:41 PM: The Senate votes 99-0 to approve the tax cut package.
9:12 PM: The President inadvertantly inhales an entire Gummy Bear.
Posted by Michael at 11:49 PM | Comments (0)
January 07, 2002
You know what cracks me
You know what cracks me up? That there's still a TV show on the air called "The George Michael Sports Machine", and it's not a recurring SNL skit. (Which reminds me, there's a site with tons of SNL transcripts, including "Ed Glosser, Trivial Psychic".) And it's hosted by a dorky, pasty, middle-aged man and not by an unshaven, bisexual 80's British pop star. Go figure. Oh, and BunkoSquad is hiring. Sorta.
Posted by Michael at 12:51 AM | Comments (0)
January 02, 2002
The move to the "new
The move to the "new site" isn't quite right just yet. So, if you're using Opera and you don't see the nav at the top or you're on a macintosh and you see a layered mess -- the elves are working on it. Thanks for your patience.
Posted by Michael at 02:01 AM | Comments (0)
After long nights slaving in
After long nights slaving in front of a hot computer, with only occasional pauses to look up and watch Celtics games, the crack BunkoSquad Redesign Team is proud to unveil a new look for a new millennium. Well, a somewhat new millennium. You know what I mean.
Feel free to wander around the site and enjoy yourself. Need a good place to start? Well, the annual tradition of the "A to Z of Overrated Stuff" list is always a good way to kick off a new year -- better than a hangover, and cheaper too!
In other site news, the AFI movie countdown continues at a glacial pace. There should be a new review up in a few days. My personal favorite-song and favorite-movie lists have been temporarily removed for tweaking. Interactivity, in the form of polls, a better guestbook, and a members-only forum discussion (like Salon.com's "Table Talk") are all ideas I'm kicking around like the Patriots are kicking around the rest of the AFC.
Happy New Year!
Posted by Michael at 12:06 AM | Comments (0)