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November 19, 2004
The Grand Canyon
I read something about this a while ago, but here it is again. At the bookstore of the Grand Canyon National Park, they are required to sell a book called The Grand Canyon: A Different View, written by a fellow named Tom Vail, who says...
For years, as a Colorado River guide I told people how the Grand Canyon was formed over the evolutionary time scale of millions of years. Then I met the Lord. Now, I have "a different view" of the Canyon, which, according to a biblical time scale, can’t possibly be more than about a few thousand years old.
The people who run the GCNP bookstore tried to get this hooey off the shelves, but the National Park Service (run by You-Know-Who's Presidential Administration) says it has to stay on, because obviously this guy's statement of faith carries the same weight as mountains of geological and fossil evidence. The book's one of the park's top sellers; I can only assume it's bought by the same kinds of people who loaded up on the unreadable Left Behind books, just so they could put Christian fundamentalist nonsense on the bestseller list.
In the meantime, I'm putting the finishing touches on my book, which makes the controversial assumption that Gray Aliens and the Loch Ness Monster dug the Grand Canyon on June 4, 1977 as a place to hide Jimmy Hoffa's body. Don't you dare question my faith.
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