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April 29, 2005
Garbage Time in the Playoffs
David Stern, on the Pistons-Pacers fracas in November:
"We have to do everything possible to redefine the covenant between players and fans, and between fans and fans, and make sure we can play our games in very welcoming and peaceful settings."
The NBA, seeing the potential drama and potential ratings of a potential Pistons-Pacers playoff series:
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Well, how else would you explain it? The refs have openly been wearing Pacers jerseys during the games, the league has suspended Antoine Walker for Game 4 for going ballistic after another dumbass call, and the Celtics, as moribundly as they've been playing and as little as they truly deserved to win Games 2 or 3, have to go 5-on-8 for the rest of the series.
During another long fan-peer-counseling phone call with my Dad last night, we agreed that Indiana is a team we kind of like, until the minute the game starts. Especially R***** M***** (I can't say his name without rage building inside me; you know who I mean). I'm at the point I'm rarely at now; I want to see him injured. I want him to kick his leg out on a 3-point attempt and have Ricky flip him over onto his skull (Do it, Ricky; you might as well contribute to this series somehow). I want him to set one of his patented pansy screens and see Kendrick Perkins knock him into the third row. You're going to get a foul called on you if you go within 3 feet of Reggie; might as well get your money's worth.
I hate the Indiana fans, who everytime a questionable call doesn't go their way (which was twice in Game 3) moan and whine like the greatest injustice in the history of man has been perpetrated. The only consolation is that the Pacers won't go on to win the title, while our Patriots stomping their Colts on the way to a Superbowl has become an annual tradition as reliable as the falling leaves.
I almost wish for the early 90s Pistons to reunite for the next round (I know...don't give up on the C's yet...but come on). I think the only way to stop Reggie is a healthy dose of Laimbeer and Rodman. I want Reggie to watch the end of the season, and the end of his career, from inside a body cast.
There, I said it.
Posted by Michael at 06:27 PM | Comments (1)
April 28, 2005
Home
So after dropping Sooz off at Dulles Airport at 6:15 yesterday (she's in LA) I debated whether to stop somewhere or just slog it home. I guess you can probably figure out which I did.
So I drove out of DC traffic, past Gettysburg (I didn't stop. There will be a future Civil War road trip.) and Harrisburg, to Jim Thorpe, a cool little town nestled in the mountains, and on through fog. Somewhere around Broadheadsville, I noticed a sign for Pierce's, which advertised "100,000 Used Books!" Needless to say, I did a 180 and took a picture of the sign to get their phone number if I couldn't find it. But I did find it and got a bunch of books. And if I hadn't taken 209, I never would have seen it.
Then just driving through familiar ground across North Jersey, the Tappan Zee Bridge and back into New England. Where it started to rain. And rain hard. Sign from above, anyone?
Today, I ain't gonna do a thing. I was worried that I might wake up and drive halfway to Maine before I realized what I was doing, but thankfully no.
Posted by Michael at 01:24 PM | Comments (0)
April 24, 2005
Another Update!
You know you're far away from home when Atlanta starts seeming like the North again. Here's what's been going on.
Posted by Michael at 11:09 PM | Comments (0)
April 23, 2005
The Trip Continues...
Latest update here! We saw a hippo!
Posted by Michael at 11:52 AM | Comments (0)
April 22, 2005
Wildlife
Egrets? We saw a few. But then again, too few to mention.
But you probably want less of crap like that, and more updates! Like I bet you'd like to know how I ended up holding Larry, here at left. Here's the story.
Posted by Michael at 12:05 AM | Comments (1)
April 21, 2005
Miami
MIAMI - We've been in South Florida for 24 hours, and so far I've resisted the impulse to suddenly blurt out "Say hello to my lil friend!" like Tony Montana in Scarface. Here's a writeup of what did happen (warning: contains partial nudity).
Pics when available.
Posted by Michael at 08:48 AM | Comments (0)
April 18, 2005
I-95 Is A Long, Long Road
Read my entry about today's travels. Reading about driving down I-95 is a lot quicker than driving down I-95. Trust me.
Posted by Michael at 11:52 PM | Comments (0)
April 17, 2005
Road Trip Day One
RED BANK, NJ - My summary of day one is done. It's warm, and that's the most important thing. And Sooz has set up our Flickr photo page. Now back to the Jersey Turnpike. Fun.
Posted by Michael at 01:41 PM | Comments (0)
April 15, 2005
Moral Dilemmas Spread Beyond Pharmacies
SYRACUSE - When Chophouse Charlie's American Steakhouse opened here last fall, it was the talk of the town. It's still on everyone's minds, but for different reasons. Waiter Jeremy Klustermann is at the center of a political firestorm for his religious and moral beliefs.
"I'm a vegan," explained Klustermann. "I don't eat anything that came from animals, and I refuse to take orders from diners who want me to serve them animal products."
The controversy began February 11, when the Stieglitz family of Watertown stopped in for dinner. Bob Stieglitz ordered a prime rib, medium rare, but Klustermann wouldn't provide it. "He said he was morally opposed to the slaughter of animals and wouldn't get me a steak," reminisced Stieglitz. "I asked if maybe we could get another waiter, and he glared at me and said if he did that, he'd still be an accessory to murder." Stieglitz wound up ordering a caesar salad, which he said was "fine, I guess".
Klustermann is now involved in a nationwide movement called "The Customer Is Always Right Unless It Conflicts With My Ethics" (TCIARUICWME.). Started after the recent spate of controversies involving pharmacists who refused to honor prescriptions for birth control pills, the movement now includes video store clerks, gas station attendants, wedding planners, and countless others in the service industry who are fed up with having to do their jobs if it violates their comfort zones.
"This isn't a whim," Klustermann said. "I'm a trained and experienced waiter, and [restaurant management] want to fire me because I won't bring certain foods to my customers."
Karri Brower, cofounder of TCIARUICWME, says retail workers like Klustermann are finally emboldened to ignore certain aspects of their job. "No more will the film snob at Blockbuster have to take customers' money to rent Carrot Top films. No more will the devout Muslim have to compromise his beliefs just because he's a hot-dog vendor at a baseball game. We truly believe that there's a way that people can not do their jobs due to moral concerns, and yet still do their jobs."
A TCUARUICWME rally scheduled for Washington this month had to be cancelled when the bus drivers slated to ferry them to the Mall realized the whole thing was asinine, and refused to drive them or recommend another means of transportation.
Posted by Michael at 10:31 AM | Comments (0)
April 14, 2005
On the Road Again
In less than 36 hours, Sooz and I are headed south. I'll blog as much as I can on the road (her laptop will come in handy, except that I'm Mac-challenged) and post pictures when I'm able. Here's a site she set up to chart our planning and progress.
Off to the land of Waffle Houses and alligators!
Posted by Michael at 07:47 PM | Comments (0)
Bah
I had a good longish post written about Mayor Menino's plan to go after parking lots near Fenway that raise their rates at big games, and then my computer froze.
Cliff Notes version: I agree with Carpundit, and if they want to keep the costs of going to a ballgame down, they can start by enforcing Mass Gen'l Law, Chapter 140, Section 185D.
Posted by Michael at 01:33 PM | Comments (0)
April 13, 2005
Cue Nelson Going "HAAAA HA"
Fever Pitch cost $30,000,000 to make. Its first weekend, it brought in $12.4 million, finishing 3rd.
This is why you don't build hotels on ancient burial grounds, and why you don't steal mojo away from Red Sox World Series victories.
Posted by Michael at 12:15 PM | Comments (1)
April 12, 2005
Read This
An open letter to the people of Atwood, Kansas. It's long, but definitely worth reading.
UPDATE: Alert Reader JB informed me that they've taken the letter off the front page of the site. So the link now goes to a Google-cached version of the letter. Thanks!
Posted by Michael at 01:17 PM | Comments (2)
The Fellowship of the Rings
So was it worth waiting 86 years for?
The Idiots of October got one last moment in the sun before it's time to seriously get down to business. Everything (well, almost everything) about yesterday was just right: the flag unfurling; the parade of oldtimers; Bobby, Bill and Tedy; and most of all, Johnny Pesky, the most beloved Sok of 'em all, making his way down the champions' receiving line (best moment: Pesky greeting Curtis Leskanic, "Leskanic! You son of a bitch"). The Yankees, who we still hate but now in a different way, watching respectfully from the dugout steps.
I, frankly, could have done without the Terry Cashman song (Yves wondered if he wrote it in the cab on the way over), and the dual moment of silence for the Pope and Dick Radatz seemed a little...weird. But hey, it's not like the Sox have lots of practice putting together ceremonies like this.
So you want a haiku? OK, here's one.
The joy ride's over
One fifty-five left to go
Let's get back to work
PS - Simmons came out of semi-retirement and wrote a fantastic piece about the day.
Posted by Michael at 12:33 PM | Comments (3)
April 11, 2005
Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey, Goodbye
At a rough estimate, I've spent 14% of my waking hours since 2000 deleting spam. Email spam, comment spam, track-back spam...I'd go on, except I'm starting to feel like a Monty Python skit.
So it's with a bit of malicious glee that I see notorious spammer Jeremy Jaynes may spend 9 years in prison.
I know that a reasonable case can be made that the punishment doesn't fit the crime; with muggers and molesters able to roam free, it's a waste of society's resources to jail spammers. But hey, this is America. I hardly give a crap until it affects me personally.
If spammers weren't as insidious as cockroaches, I'd think this might mean something. Oh well. I just hope someone gets his cellmate's name. I wonder if he'd be interested in some discount \/!@GARA.
Posted by Michael at 10:41 PM | Comments (1)
April 10, 2005
Games 5 and 6
Our bullpen is weak
We fear the later innings
They should work on that.
Posted by Michael at 09:39 PM | Comments (0)
April 09, 2005
We Stand As One
Finally the age-old question has been answered. What happens if you morph Steve Perry and Steve Tyler, strip away any semblance of soul, give him lyrics seemingly penned by John Ashcroft and a focus group of 4th-graders, give him a $75 video budget, and tell him to put together a cloyingly patriotic anthem for a new millennium?
The answer is here. If you're at all lactose-intolerant, beware. It contains 40 pounds of pure cheez.
Thanks(?) to Sooz, who tipped me off to this one.
Posted by Michael at 11:55 AM | Comments (0)
Game 4 - Bos 6, TOR 5
Had to work late; didn't see it.
Red Sox are the first
Team to win this season in
Two different countries.
Reliable sources tell me the bullpen almost yakked this one up. A win is a win is a win, as Gertrude Stein might have said.
Posted by Michael at 11:49 AM | Comments (0)
April 07, 2005
Rant of the Month
Here's the backstory (I assume you already know about the War For Iraq). The Pulitzer Prize for news photography went to the AP, for a series of fairly unpleasant photos of life during the US occupation.
This has caused some considerable outrage on the right-hand side of Blogworld. They're trying to insinuate that the AP made arrangements with insurgents to be there at the right times. They're furious that the photoset presents a lopsided view of the valiant struggle (someone even anazlyzed them and found that there were 7(!) photos of Iraqi civilians harmed by the war, and 0(!) photos of US forces looking heroic (their exact words). They're scared and saddened by the thought that the war isn't all it was cracked up to be.
Which leads us to...
The Rant of the Month. Read it. Remember it.
Posted by Michael at 11:49 AM | Comments (1)
Mankind Seeks to Control the Sun
"Since the beginning of time man has yearned to destroy the sun. I will do the next best thing...block it out!" - C. Montgomery Burns
I like the idea of extending Daylight Savings Time. It really puts a hop in your step the first time you realize that it's 7:30 and still fairly light out. In fact, I'd be happy never to go back to the days of the 4 p.m. sunset. So I like this bill.
But Ed Markey, who was my Congressman when I lived in Arlington, threw in this head-scratcher:
"The more daylight we have, the less electricity we use"
I just don't see how even an act of Congress can actually increase the amount of daylight.
Posted by Michael at 11:25 AM | Comments (0)
April 06, 2005
Game 3 - Bos 7, NYY 3
Stayin' alive, and off to Toronto...
Can New York please trade
Mariano Rivera
To the Jays tonight?
Or can the Sox at least send tapes of today's 9th-inning BP (and A-Rod's fielding boners) around the league? If every team could figure out the Sandman the way the Sox have, the Yankees would win 67 games this year.
Posted by Michael at 04:32 PM | Comments (2)
April 05, 2005
Game 2 - NYY 4, Bos 3
Tough loss. Tougher still, slowly watching the ESPN GameCast at work.
Jeter took Foulke deep
Bullpen battle has begun
We own Rivera
Heads up, kids...we're not outta this thing yet.
Posted by Michael at 05:09 PM | Comments (1)
Look Busy!
Remember when we were a threatened nation? And we were so terrified that terrorists were pouring into the country (hmmm...notice we haven't gone to Code Orange since Bush was "re"elected)? But then we secured the food supply, tightened security at the nation's ports and shipping lanes, and frisked everyone going into a Celtics game, and now we're totally safe and sound.
But we forgot one thing...
So now, in its latest effort to Look Like We're Doing Something, the government is going to make you get a passport to travel to Canada, or Mexico, or Bermuda, or a few other countries we were on good terms with as of yesterday. Because inconviencing thousands of people (including me) on the pretense of action isn't nearly as important as potentially catching the one moron terrorist who isn't smart enough to get an ID first.
I've never gotten a passport, since travel to Europe or wherever has always been beyond my financial reach. But now that just to see an Expos game Nova Scotia, I've go to pony up $100 (cute, by the way, to announce this plan right after you raise the passport fee), forget it. It's domestic travel for me, baby. I'll import my poutine.
Posted by Michael at 12:29 PM | Comments (0)
April 04, 2005
4 April Baseball Haiku
With the Sox off today, let's visit Cincinnati and the Mets debut of one of the 2004 Sox superstars:
Pedro didn't win
The Mets bullpen blew the game
Should have left him in
Posted by Michael at 08:59 PM | Comments (1)
The Next Pope
The candidates:
Francis Arinze, Nigeria.
Current Occupation: Cardinal of Nigeria.
Pros: First non-European pope. Prepared for the coming Christian-Islam global war.
Cons: Non-European. From the Clarence Thomas school of "he's farther to the right than Sean Hannity, but he's black, so liberals won't say anything" school of devious nominations.
Claudio Hummes, Brazil.
Current Occupation: Archbishop of Sao Paulo.
Pros: Would represent strong Church presence in Latin America. Pleasant-looking guy.
Cons: He's old. Born in Brazil of German parents. Way too "The Boys From Brazil" for me.
Jean-Marie Lustiger, France.
Current Occupation: Archbishop of Paris.
Pros: Jewish; has taken Catholic-Jewish relations in Paris higher than they have been since the Black Death.
Cons: The first leader of the Christian Church was Jewish, and people still argue over what exactly he meant by what he said.
Bono, Ireland.
Current Occupation: Frontman, U2.
Pros: Has worked visibly for various causes and cozied up to high-ranking world figures. Wrote "Where the Streets Have No Name." Accustomed to preaching.
Cons: Tends to drop F-bombs left and right. Wrote "Daddy's Gonna Pay For Your Crashed Car."
Ricky Davis, Boston Celtics.
Current Occupation: 6th man, Guard/Forward.
Pros: Will tenaciously defend the majesty of Rome. Will provide a burst of energy to a tired Church hierarchy.
Cons: Still has "head-case" label. Not confirmed, but we suspect maybe, just maybe, he likes the herb a little bit.
Henry Kissinger, Sixth Circle of Hell.
Current Occupation: God Only Knows.
Pros: Has full backing of Bush Adminstration, who's been inexplicably desperate to put him in some position of power.
Cons: He should be one.
Dante Hicks, New Jersey.
Current Occupation: Quik-Stop Clerk.
Pros: Willing to work long hours for little reward. Might go back to college someday.
Cons: Can't even lift a gallon of milk without straining. Might be dead.
Sean Hannity, Fox News.
Current Occupation: Fox News TV Personality.
Pros: Already bathed in a shimmering aura of smug self-righteousness. Has been nominated for a Nobel Prize. Singlehandedly kept Terry Schiavo alive from 1991-2004 until judges made him stop.
Cons: Is a fu[+++SEDITIOUS COMMENT DELETED BY USDHS. CARRIER DROPPED+++].
Matthew Lesko, TVLand.
Current Occupation: Infomercial Pitchman.
Pros: Can find new sources of wealth for the Vatican by tapping into government grants and services. Looks like Eugene Levy.
Cons: Kind of a tool. Roman tailors may balk at covering Papal robes with question marks.
Mike Krzyzewski, Duke University.
Current Occupation: Head Basketball Coach.
Pros: Always gets to the Sweet Sixteen. Responsible for training countless young men and readying them to be NBA busts. Hair doesn't move.
Cons: Has coached for years a team with "Devils" in the nickname. Papal robes might not be billowy enough to accomodate both Pope K and the herd of sycophants attached to his rear end.
Parker Posey, New York City.
Current Occupation: Indie-film Darling.
Pros: Has kept a viable career without losing indie cred. Would convince millions of strayed Catholics to give the Church another try. Hot, yet seems approachable.
Cons: ?????
Posted by Michael at 11:34 AM | Comments (7)
1 Down, 161 To Go
I'm going to rip off an idea of my sister's, and write a couple of haikus about the Sox' dismal opener today.
Yanks got their fourth win
Finally beat the Red Sox
But six months too late
David Wells pitched bad
The bullpen was no better
Last year was a fluke
Oh yeah...we're in for some good times.
Posted by Michael at 12:07 AM | Comments (2)
April 01, 2005
The Culture of Life
Tom DeLay, the radical fringe Republican who just happens to have a position of significant power and leadership, got a letter from Senator Frank Lautenberg. DeLay, saddened by the fact that the "save-Terri's-body" crowd went 0-for-4,352 in court decisions, said,
The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior, but not today.
It's not a direct threat, but neither was Jesse Helms' threat that Bill Clinton "would need a bodyguard" if he visited North Carolina. But the Secret Service took an interest in that. And Sen. Lautenberg reminded Mr. DeLay that threatening a federal judge is against the law.
I know it's too much to ask that DeLay will be led away in handcuffs (at least for this...there's still hope). But I don't think it's too much to ask that the poster boy of the Republicans' newfound "Culture of Life" stop with the thinly-veiled threatening people.
Posted by Michael at 05:13 PM | Comments (0)
Fun With Google
Dear [Mystery Person],
I've told you before that you should have your own web site. Through the magic of Google, I have discovered that you apparently put up a web site several years ago.
Now it seems I may be in a pretty good position to blackmail you. Either get crackin' and get some current space on the Internet, or I shall be forced to ceremoniously add this old site (I'm going to estimate 1999) onto my blogroll, and out you as a once-attempted InternetDenizenWhatzit.
If you think this may be you, but are not sure, here are three key code words. Piglet. Orko. Fondue. You have a month until I reveal more. That is all.
Yrs, Michael.
UPDATE: If you're not the person in question, don't ask me who it is. Successful blackmailers don't leak...to anyone. (evil laughter)
Posted by Michael at 03:11 AM | Comments (0)
Gettin' There
...and then there were 35.
My Midnight Cowboy review is up. Hope the damn song starts running through your head the way it did mine.
Posted by Michael at 01:53 AM | Comments (3)