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March 29, 2006
Bush Admits to Latest Round of 'Youthful Mistakes'
WASHINGTON - President Bush answered critics of his Administration in a press conference today, admitting serious blunders in the first five years of his Presidency, but chalking them up to "youthful mistakes."
"This is hard work," he told a gathering of reporters. "And maybe, as a young President, I took too much vacation time, and didn't read security briefings, and picked friends for important posts instead of qualified people. That's behind me."
Longtime White House correspondent Helen Thomas read off a list of perceived Bush blunders: relaxing environmental regulations, backing out of the Kyoto treaty, 9/11 intelligence failures, "My Pet Goat", illegal detainments at Guantanamo Bay, the "No Child Left Behind" boondoggle, the Cheney/Enron connection, the failure to find Osama Bin Laden, the puffing up of evidence about Saddam Hussein, the tabbing of Henry Kissinger to chair the 9/11 Commission, falling off a goddam Segway, sending Colin Powell to the U.N. to present incorrect evidence about Iraq, the "Mission Accomplished" banner, the Valerie Plame leak, the EPA underreporting environmental damage at the World Trade Center site, the Cheney/Scalia duck hunt, the much-maligned color-coded terror alert system, advising the Swift Boat Veterans' attacks on John Kerry, the Armstrong Williams scandal, the failed attempt at privatizing Social Security, ignoring North Korea, hiring that Arabian horse guy to run FEMA, the Harriet Miers fiasco, the bungling of Hurricane Katrina recovery, the failed Dubai Ports Deal, and the continued lack of a visible plan or exit strategy in Iraq.
Bush, grinning, nodded his head at the laundry list of complaints. "I said this was hard work," he quipped.
When asked how a nearly 60-year-old man could claim youth and inexperience, Bush testily replied, "Look, no matter what job I was doing, or what company I was running, no one ever told me that a memo entitled 'Bin Laden Determined to Strike In US' was important. Now I know. It never occurred to me that playing guitar and fundraising might be inappropriate while a major American city was being destroyed. Next time, I'll stick around the office."
As the press conference wound down, Bush promised to "bring dignity and honor back to the White House" in his third and fourth terms.
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