BunkoSquad

The reward challenge is diabolically confusing. They have to navigate some ropes, go to a bunch of locations where there's a bunch of stuff (poles, rocks, iguanas, etc.), count the stuff, navigate the ropes back to a puzzle, put in the numbers of items, open locks, and press a button every 108 minutes to keep the island from exploding (whoops - crazy island show crossover strikes again).

Now, you know Terry has won basically every challenge since the merge. And before every one, and after most of them, and at other random times, he's identified Aras as his biggest threat. Which has always sounded a bit like Bill Belichick saying, "We know the Jets are 2-11, and they've lost their last three games by a combined score of 107-3, but this is seriously going to be the toughest game we've ever played." But Aras is seriously overdue. And he takes an early lead. And Cirie freaks a little when she sees the iguanas.

But in the home stretch, everyone gets kind of tangled up. There's sweating, there's cursing, and Terry takes a swing at Aras! Sort of. It's less of a swing than Parish decking Laimbeer, but more than A-Rod's little girly slap at Arroyo. Everyone misses a number, and has to go back and recount something. Terry freaks because Aras made two stops on one trip and he wasn't sure that was allowed. Aras yells: "Call the Waahmbulance!"

Then Aras wins. To conclude my series of Boston sports references, Terry looks like Billy Crystal in the Bronx at the end of Game 7. And since Terry's taught everyone here to be a gracious winner, Aras rubs it in, saying he was trying extra hard because Terry's been disrespectful to womyn. Um. Terry goes off about how he's not going to be lectured by some kid.

He gets to pick someone to take a luxury cruise down the Panama Canal - he takes Cirie. Terry and Danielle get to be awkward and uncomfortable together on Exile Island for a while. Once again, we have two tribes.

Cirie and Aras marvel at the Panama Canal. I like to think that Teddy Roosevelt, and the 45,000 men (I didn't look up the exact number) who died of yellow fever during the excavation, knew someday it would build up to this.

On Exile Island, Terry's psychoanalyzing Aras, and Danielle, who you'd think would be all "I miss Courtney and Shane" at this point, is ready to go into the final four allied with Terry. The key to their plan, of course, is that one of them wins the next Immunity, so they can bump Aras now and Cirie next week. Which, frankly, is a pretty decent plan for them.

Cirie and Aras come back to camp. Aras greets the beach with a loud and merry toot, which somehow inspires Cirie to start a fire. She caught a fish all by herself, and now she starts a fire all by herself while he naps. Cirie's really blossomed here, to the point where I can't even make fun of her. I mean, 35 days ago, she was afraid of leaves.

The Immunity Challenge! Dig bags out of the sand, empty the bags to reveal puzzle pieces, solve the puzzles, find more bags, find the crazy French woman to lead you to the Others (whoops, there I go again). Cirie's out of the running so early that she might as well build a sand castle. Danielle gets flummoxed on one of the bags. Sawyer starts selling extra puzzle pieces (damn you JJ Abrams! Get out of my head!) And Aras wins. Take a minute to let that sink in.

Aras puts on the Immunity Necklace, wrinkling his nose at the old-man smell it's acquired. Jeff snickers as he sends the Survivors off to strategize. It's pretty clear that Aras and Cirie will vote for Danielle, and Danielle and Terry will vote for Cirie. The only question is whether Terry is willing to take a leap of faith, and give Danielle the Idol, figuring that everyone will assume he has it. But we'll get to that in a second.

First, Terry has a score to settle. He gets all up in Aras' face. What do you mean I'm disparaging womyn? Who do you think you are? How dare you insult me personally? He's built up a righteous head of steam; he's ready for a fight! Aras says, yeah, I was stupid to say that and I apologize. You've heard the expression "take the wind out of their sails"? Terry almost deflates as his rage dissipates. Well, carry on, then.

Everyone is gearing up for the upcoming tie vote. Like I said, Terry could slip the idol to Danielle (this is the last chance he has to use it), wait for Aras and Cirie to vote for her, then she can whip out the Idol and it's goodbye, Cirie. But you know, and I know, and Jeff knows, and Danielle knows, and random sailors in the Panama Canal know, that Terry's not the type of man who leaves his ass out in the wind. He's not giving her the Idol. So it's going to be a tie, and everyone assumes that the tiebreaker will be a fire-building contest. So we see a few minutes of Terry coaching Danielle, and Aras coaching Cirie. Good thing this episode started off with a seminar about gender relations.

Bring out the Jury of the Damned. Shane looks like a relaxed man, with access to Camels and topical cream. Cirie interviews about how she's completely changed and is proud of herself even if her game ends now. Danielle says something about trust, and we immediately cut to Shane and Courtney making faces. I swear they're going to reenact Heathers before this is all over.

And the vote. No surprise. 2 votes Danielle, 2 votes Cirie (Incidentally, this is the exact moment when Channel 4 decided we need to know that Joyce Kulhawik is hosting a pre-finale show on Sunday. And of course it had to scroll across the screen twice, slowly enough that someone learning English for the first time could puzzle it out. Sorry, I completely lost my train of thought. Let's start this paragraph again.)

And the vote. No surprise. 2 votes Danielle, 2 votes Cirie. Does either of them have the Idol? Of course not. So here's the tiebreaker. Jeff says they each get a cauldron and a firestarter kit (which doesn't come with a cherubic pint-sized Drew Barrymore), and the first to get the fire high enough to burn a rope moves on. Everyone takes a deep breath. Everyone leans in. I'm breathing into a paper bag at this point.

And we'll find out on Sunday.

Damn you, Probst.