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June 02, 2006

A Thousand Times Yes

Tony Massarotti of the Herald absolutely nails it today with his column about Red Sox dilettantes. You may remember a few months ago, I asked around, and the consensus was that most of the people I know would be OK with the Red Sox sucking for a year or two if it meant we could get tickets again.

So I've devised a short quiz that will tell if you're one of these deplorable bandwagon-hoppers.

Are You A Real Red Sox Fan?

  1. I like Kevin Youkilis because:

    2. He's got a good eye, good OBP, and is more than capable in the field
    He's done an OK job leading off till Coco gets back fulltime
    YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUK!!!!!!!!

  2. When do you leave the game?

    3. Sometime between the last pitch and when the rats come out for the fallen popcorn
    Usually the end, but sometimes after Papi's last at-bat
    After 'Sweet Caroline'

  3. My favorite relief pitcher of the last 10 years is:

    4. Mike Timlin - solid and dependable
    Rich Garces - fairly dependable and entertaining
    Jonathan Papelbon - he's dreamy

  4. Pink Hats?

    5. I have one
    Fine for some, but never for me
    I can't answer this question because blood vessels are popping in my eye right now

  5. Last man to win the Triple Crown?

    6. Carl Yastrzemski
    Carl Yaztremsky
    Probably Manny? What's the Triple Crown?

  6. Before I head to the park, I like to:

    7. Read up on the opposing starting pitcher
    Grab a sausage from one of the vendors on Lansdowne St.
    Finish coloring in my sign so Jerry Remy shows me on TV

  7. Where's your favorite place to sit at Fenway?

    8. Anywhere that isn't behind a pole or in those awful RF grandstand seats
    Bleachers - that's where the real fans are
    Anywhere where I can get on TV and call all my friends to let them know I'm on TV

Hit "back" when you get your results, and check your score:

61-70: Real fan. You probably remember Kevin Romine. Well done.
41-60: Not bad. I'd be OK sitting next to you, even if I had to explain the infield fly rule.
31-40: Not good. I wouldn't throw peanuts at you, but don't ask me to explain why foul balls aren't strike three.
11-30: You probably learned about sports from reading Shaughnessy columns.
0-10: Yankee Stadium's 230 miles southwest.

Filed Under: Sports | Permanent Link, Comments (9)   | Linking Blogs

Comments

My score was 45. :)

Posted by: Sooz [TypeKey Profile Page] | June 2, 2006 11:30 AM

i don't believe i should be penalized for appreciating and missing rich garces. and had you put an option for heathcliff slocumb i probably would have checked that too, and gotten half points. lounge lizards and guapos are important to me just like solid pitching is. in different ways of course. and i ain't no sally-come-lately.

Posted by: christine | June 2, 2006 05:30 PM

Yeah, that's the only question I've been called on and your points are valid. It's important to remember, though, that Heathcliff Slocumb's largest contribution to Boston lore was the fact that Duquette traded him to Seattle for Varitek and Derek Lowe, which still looks like the Lufthansa heist of the Duquette era.

Posted by: michael | June 2, 2006 07:21 PM

65. He has done a good job covering for Coco.

Posted by: Josh | June 3, 2006 12:52 AM

78.5. I'm a real fan all right. A 3rd generation diehard fan. But can I SEE the Sox play? NOOOOOO. Because I can't afford it. Totally sucks, and yes, I wish the fairweather fans and the corporate dildos would ditch the ballpark and make cheaper tickets available again, but that's never gonna happen.

Posted by: margalit | June 3, 2006 03:04 PM

65. Though I do own a Papelbon t-shirt, I still realize the importance of Mike "I will eat your heart" Timlin.

Posted by: Jen | June 5, 2006 01:07 PM

Have we all lost our minds? I see your point of the silly quiz but really who cares. I dont care if you wear a pink hat or if you jump on the band wagon. I dont think real fans care about a band wagon, when i sit next to a novice im excited that for what ever reason they got into baseball. For those of us lucky enough to have been born and raised red sox or have had a parent teach us the ins and outs we should be embracing anybody who wants to enjoy the game. So there are two choices, we can waste time caring about who was a fan when or we can enjoy the game and hopefully shed some light and knowledge on those who could understand more. But i guess for some its a territorial thing so you can continue to refuse to explain the infield fly rule. Just know, anybody who looks down on people who dont have as much knowledge is just as obnoxious as those who wave to the camera (theres just no excuse for that)

Posted by: Mike | July 5, 2006 01:58 PM

Wait, you would rather have a losing team so you could go to the ticket window and get tickets? I want to win and watch a competitive team. Heres my advice, dont listen to these dillusional self proclaimed "real fans" they dont know what there talking about. The point is to compete in the playoffs. I do my homework, find out when tickets go onsale in the winter, save up some money and buy my tickets for the season then. Thats what you do if you want to go to fenway to see a winner. For all you "real fans" who want to suck for a year or two to get seats i have a feeling your not quite as invested in the season as some of us are.

Posted by: mike | July 5, 2006 02:03 PM

"For all you "real fans" who want to suck for a year or two to get seats i have a feeling your not quite as invested in the season as some of us are. "

Am I rooting against them on a day-to-day basis? Hell no. But I would still go if they were lousy, and so would most people I know. The people who wouldn't, and only go because it's the in-thing, the hell with them.

And I know you know there's a difference between non-diehard fans who are there to watch a game and learn something, and non-diehard fans who are just there to be there.

Posted by: michael | July 5, 2006 02:33 PM