« SurvivorBlog 13.2: Desperado | Main | SurvivorBlog 13.3: Thus Endeth the Gimmick »
September 26, 2006
Hugo Chavez Inundated With Review Copies
CARACAS, VENEZUELA - Last week at the United Nations, Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez held aloft a copy of Noam Chomsky's Hegemony Or Survival, catapulting the once-obscure political screed to the top of the New York Times bestseller list. Now Chavez is "overwhelmed" by hundreds and hundreds of manuscripts and review copies being sent to his Caracas palace.
"There are so many books coming in," said Culture Secretary Francisco de Asis Sesto Novas. "El Presidente barely has time to read them all, but read them all he must, if he is to correctly identify which volumes expose the imperialistic goals of the warlike American President."
Sesto Novas says that Chavez is currently making his way through his myriad fiction submissions. "Hugo really liked Alexander McCall Smith's detective series, and he's very excited about Jonathan Franzen's The Discomfort Zone. But since each book comes with a lengthy, handwritten note from the author urging [Chavez] to read and recommend it, it takes twice as long as usual."
Reportedly, Scholastic Press has taken the unusual step of sending Chavez an advance copy of the seventh and final Harry Potter novel. The novel, which was expected to be released under a veil of heavy security, instead was mentioned at some length by Chavez Monday on Venezuelan state television. "Voldemort is the devil," he announced before an assembly of Peoples' Representatives. "Although Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy sacrifice their lives at the end to keep Harry from killing his real father, Professor Snape, the evil that Voldemort creates will clearly live on in Harry and Hermione's newborn child."
Authors of political and current-events books, meanwhile, are launching an all-out media blitz to bring their books to Chavez's attention. Karen DeYoung's biography of Colin Powell, Bob Woodward's inside view of the Bush Administration, and even Bob Newhart's memoir, have all found themselves on Chavez's desk, hoping for a good word or a photo-op. Even the reclusive Alan Dershowitz has reportedly rented a U-Haul van, planning to drive his entire bibliography to Venezuela in hope of being mentioned in a future Chavez speech.
"It's a great time for the publishing industry," said Random House spokesman Claude Heron. "Oprah's book club lost a little steam when she picked that Million Little Pieces hoax, and without her guidance, people have stopped reading. We hope that 'Hugo's Book Club' can help pick up the slack." Chavez is reportedly in talks with NBC, working on a contract to reveal his pick of the month to Matt Lauer on the Today show.
Filed Under: Made Up Stuff | Permanent Link, Comments (2) | Linking Blogs
Comments
You are awesome.
Discuss.
Posted by: Not So Secret Admirer | September 27, 2006 12:41 AM
Did you really look up the name of the culture secretary? Yeah, Awesome.
Posted by: Josh | September 28, 2006 07:14 PM
