BunkoSquad

The food-gathering seems to go better than on previous Survivors. Aitu is deep-sea fishing with spears and goggles (did they win those in the last challenge?), and I've never seen a bunch of people so happily announce that they've caught crabs. Puka's scooping up chickens left and right, and although Cao Boi's sense of humor could be more refined, at least he stays away from making the henweigh joke (would that I could say the same).

Aitu's also got a chicken, for a little surf-and-turf action, and while they're having their pesco y pollo, Cristina casually reveals that she used to be a cop. And got shot. And almost lost her arm. Billy is moved by this story, and goes off to have a nap and think it over. His prison is walking through this world all alone.

At Camp Raro, Jonathan returns from Exile Island and is a little nonplussed that the camp is in the exact same condition he left it. I'd like to think it's because Adam's been left alone with Parvati, Jessica and Candice for three days, but this is a family show, and it turns out they're just lazy. Or they were waiting to pay Aitu under the table to build their hut for them. Jon's all like, dude, we need a floor to sleep on. And Adam's all like, dude, what's the point, just because we've been sleeping on dirt for four nights we need a floor?!? Jessica, to her unexpected credit, pitches in, perhaps to atone for her hen fiasco last week.

Cao Boi's sense of humor is grating on the other Asians at Camp Puka. He's still plucking evil spirits out of the others via the bridges of their noses, but when the lights are out, he likes to tell Asian jokes. Not like Zen riddles, but like "How many Bhutanese does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" And the others think he's not funny, and he's perpetuating the stereotype of Asians as unserious-minded goofballs. Or something.

Billy's still out riding fences, so the other Aitus are thinking about pulling a 1919 Black Sox, and tanking the next challenge so they can get Billy ousted. 'Cause you know how well things turned out for Shoeless Joe Jackson. Luckily, they have time to plot, since Billy's snoring keeps them up all night. Ozzy's the Chick Gandil of the scheme, J.P. the Eddie Cicotte, Cristina the reluctant Buck Weaver, and Cecilia is whichever of the Black Sox liked to wear tiny bikini tops (probably Happy Felsch). Let's pray Jeff has the guts of Kenesaw Mountain Landis.

The reward challenge involves shackling the teams together, running them through an obstacle course, then answering questions based on a 30-second biography of Captain Cook that Jeff reads off. (Questions like, "What islands were named after Captain Cook?") Each of the non-Hiki tribes has to pick someone not to run, to make the teams even. Billy volunteers to sit out - very very eagerly - but the rest of the tribe tells him he's going to run the race. Somewhere in New York, Arnold Rothstein nods knowingly.

There's a tie! Puka and Raro each finish the trivia game at the same time, and jump onto their mats at the same time. Jeff looks back and forth, bewildered, then awards the win to the University of Oregon. Aitu lollygags their way to furth place. Ladies and gentlemen, your World Champion 1919 Cincinnati Reds!

They select Yul to go to Exile Island, where he shatters all the myths about Asians by efficiently, methodically locating the Immunity Idol.

Now we have to watch the great suspense of Aitu trying to figure out (Billy) who is going to be kicked out (Billy) at Tribal Council. Billy. At least he got to wink at Candice on the way home from the Challenge; I guess he figured out he'd better let somebody love him before it's too late.

At Tribal Council, Jeff asks Aitu if anyone has emerged as a leader. Ozzy says, no, we have no leader; I just suggest great ideas and the others implement them. J.P. lets Billy have it, calling him useless and stupid. Billy says that doesn't matter, because he and Candice are in love. Jeff does an honest-to-God double-take, and the other Aitus bite fingers off to keep from laughing out loud. Billy says if he goes, he's OK with it, because he likes the way he played the game. Outsnore, outeat, outslack. Survivor.

Next week on Survivor: Parvati's a slut! Aitu gets some sleep! Candice kills herself when she finds out Billy's gone!