BunkoSquad

A similar division of labor is happening at Camp Aitu; the guys are out doing stuff, while the girls are trying to figure out which one of them has the fastest-growing armpit hair. I now choose to believe that this is why women often go to the ladies' room in groups.

Reward Challenge! Does Jeff recycle hats, or does he get a new hat for every challenge, which he then tacks up to his wall like Willie Mays Hayes' batting gloves?

The challenge is actually a good physical one, if as exciting to watch as "which tribe's paint dries faster". Pairs of Survivors are bound together and given slowly-increasing sandbags to support; the last pair to drop their sand wins their tribe a bunch of fishing gear and a couple bottles of (hopefully white) wine.

Aitu tries to load up Nate and Adam, but they hold on strong. Yul is the first to fall out (!), but soon it's 2 Raro pairs against Jessica and Ozzie. Jessica talks big, but then immediately craps out, and Raro wins. But not before Nate and Adam strike a few Mapplethorpian poses, or before Nate (I kid you not) belts out a line of "Ebony and Ivory". We've learned much about the state of race in America - well, the Cook Islands - and yet I don't think we've learned a thing.

Adam/Poseidon uses the new fishing gear to somehow come home with an octopus wrapped around his shin. Not as titillating as having Nate wrapped around his torso, perhaps, but what are you gonna do. Christina leaps up and announces that she's got the perfect recipe for octopus, crabs, and coconuts. I believe it's called "Octopus, Crab, and Coconut Soup". The tribe visibly grumbles when she starts vocally assembling her kitchen staff.

So Christina and Jenny are prepping down on the beach. Adam comes over with a helpful tip: "You need to be careful". This from the guy who stepped into an octopus. Jenny wanders off. Christina spills a bunch of octopus chunks into the ocean. Christina blames her sous-chef. Raro's review in Zagat's is going to be awful:

If you can brave the "rustic setting", dinner at Raro "disappoints". Expect "few variations on the same three ingredients", a "surly staff", and a "meager wine list". Defenders say "it's a nice alternative to fine dining."

Meanwhile, Aitu's splitting up, temporarily. Cao Boi, Ozzie, and Jessica want to sail around to other islands and see if they can find more food. One wonders whether Ozzie's firing on all cylinders if he wants to join this merry band. They ask if there are any more takers (Did I mention Jon's on Exile Island again? No? Oh.), and Yul, Candice and Becky say, "No, we want to work on Sundra and make sure she's a loyal fifth wheel in our alliance. And we'd prefer to do it without you three around, since you're the three we're allied against." So off go the three musketeers.

Ozzie, Cao Boi and Jessica reach another island. There's food! There's aloe! There's...Raro! Yep, they wander right into the enemy camp. And while I hoped this would play out like Captain Cook in Hawaii (killed by the natives) or Cortes in Mexico (a small band of interlopers wipes out the natives), it doesn't. Isn't history supposed to repeat itself?!?

Raro's a little nonplussed about the unwelcome guests. Particularly when Cao Boi launches into an impromptu soliliquy about Chinese mythology. It's edited to look like Cao Boi talks for 14 hours straight. At least, I hope to God it's edited to look like that. At this point, I don't think anyone would begrudge Raro killing and filleting Cao Boi on the spot (especially when he asks Raro if they have any spare spices lying around), but the three intruders head home uneventfully.

On Exile Island, Jonathan digs a huge hole in the sand. He then says, "Either the Idol's been found, or I'm a complete moron."

The Immunity Challenge is yet another convoluted series of small challenges. The teams have to build a set of three stepping-poles (listed under Pøvvër in your Ikea catalog), use them to help two people step from one platform to another, then everyone jumps into the water and climbs up on top of a tiny little platform. Think people cramming into phone booths and you've got the idea. Not that phone booths exist anymore.

Raro gets a big lead, because Jenny and Parvati are actually pretty skilled at hopping on the platforms. But Becky makes up some lost time for Aitu, and it's almost neck and neck as they try to fit everyone on the tiny platforms. Cao Boi falls into the water for Aitu (wouldn't have blamed them if they'd pushed him to pull a Billy), then everyone falls into the water for Raro. Aitu wins!

Raro has to pick someone to go home. It's pretty obvious that it's going to be Christina, since everyone's sick of her vocal competence and willingness to take the lead in stuff. Or so you'd think.

But Stephannie can't leave well enough alone. Remember last week, she cracked and almost begged to be kicked out. This time, she casually mentions to Nate that she wouldn't mind kicking back with some mashed potatoes and gravy. Nate's alarmed, and rushes to tell the others. They're all over this news like Republican Congressmen on a high-school quarterback. There's still a little support for kicking out Christina, but the nnews of Stephannie's hannkering for spuds is too much. They slowly come around to the idea that she's gone.

At Tribal Council, Jeff is in Cook Island formalwear: no hat, nicely pressed khaki pants. You clean up well, Probst. Jeff asks Raro if anyone stepped up as a leader since the coup on J.P. last week. They say, yeah, Christina's really bossy and annoying. Christina looks around completely stunned, and says she's sorry she came off this way. This tribe just can't handle a strong proud Latino, if you ask me.

So Christina probably figures she's gone, and is probably really confused when the vote is 7-1 to oust Stephannie.

(Incidentally, this is really starting to gnaw at me. We always see a couple of Survivors hold up their votes. We always see only the ones who we know how they're voting. And those are always the first ones Jeff picks out of the urn. Does that bother anyone else? No? Oh.)

Next week: Raro keeps beasting Christina! Cao Boi still won't shut up! 2 people will be voted off!