BunkoSquad

Aitu, the Superfriends, are showing some evidence of mortality. Sundra has a gaping knee wound, and even Yul is fatigued and feels crappy. If they keep wearing down like that, they may only slightly beat Raro next time around.

But there is no next time around. Jeff summons everyone to the beach and tells them the merge has come. Boo. Aitu's still outnumbered, but they no longer have the advantage of kicking Raro's ass at challenge after challenge. They don their new joint-tribe buffs and head to the former Raro camp, where the coconuts are plentiful and the rats not so much.

And how do they get there? A luxury cruise! Take that, Jenny! They sail in a fully-stocked dining room, with complimentary beer and wine. Adam, showing the kind of determination and will that will surely mean success in life for him, drinks too much and starts heaving over the railing. Nate's hammered, too. There goes the "stupid frat boy" stereotype. Jonathan is disappointed about this behavior, and lets us know. There goes the "talky neurotic Jew" stereotype. This show is breaking down barriers.

Nate's getting to be pals with Ozzy, but he still tells us with a straight face that the original Raros will stick together. We'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that Brad, Rebecca and Jenny all slipped his mind. Ozzie's starting to look a little like Johnny Depp, if you're interested. Adam and Parvati snuggle; Adam flashes that annying grin. Yul and Becky start discussing whether to start letting people know Yul has the Immunity Idol.

Now, I have mixed feelings about this decision. Jonathan, clearly, will go where the momentum is, so waving the Idol in his face might work. But he also has betrayed the ex-Aitus, so he thinks the only way to keep around is to stick with the ex-Raros. And since the facts actually back up the sad fact that the game is centered around Jonathan at the moment, Yul doesn't tell Jon he has the Idol (though he drops enough painfully obvious hints). The good thing about springing surprises on Jon is that he can't keep his mouth shut while considering anything, so you really know where he stands.

Yul and Becky do tell Sundra and Ozzie about the Idol. They're pleased, but not too surprised. The cheerleaders (Parvati and Candice) want to kick Yul off, because he's really smart and capable. No one comes to Raro Beach and starts thinking, dammit!

The Reward Challenge (the individual immunity necklace looks exactly like what Mola Ram wore when he ripped out that guy's heart in Temple of Doom) is simple. Cling to a pole for as long as you can; last one to fall wins. The beefcake guys drop right away, then they all fall off except Candice and Ozzy. Ozzy, drawing on his rhesus-monkey animal power, hangs on for the win as Candice slides off. Imagine this paragraph stretched out to 10 minutes, with Jeff narrating.

How does Parvati have polished toenails at this point in the game?

So this clears everything up for Aitu. Ozzy's off the chopping block, so one of two things happen.

>1) Ex-Raros think Yul probably has the Idol so they vote for Becky or Sundra, or 2) Ex-Raros don't think things through, so they all vote for Yul, leaving the second place person kicked out when Yul shows the Idol. My money's on the Raro's-not-that-smart option.

Option 3, of course, is that Yul tells Jon about the Idol, assuming that Jon will flip right back over like the frontrunner he is, and then he can pick which ex-Raro (probably Nate or Adam) to jettison. The risks of this, of course, are that Jon will tell everyone, or that Jon will realize that joining ex-Aitu clinches fifth place for him. Yul even tells Jon he wants to be against him in the Finals, but knowing Yul, he'll keep his alliance with Becky right up to the end and let fate take its course.

Jon goes to the Raro brain trust and mentions it's possible that Yul has the Idol, and how would we handle that? Adam and Candice figure that since their combined brainpower couldn't find the Idol in twelve days, there's no way Yul could have found it in only one. Jon starts to think he's a little too smart for the Raro Moron Alliance.

Adam tells Candice that Nate is thinking too much. Adam and Candice agree that thinking is hard, and changes people. Then they smooch.

Jon goes back for a clandestine meeting with ex-Aitu (well, clandestine enough that Raro doesn't notice). They say that if he joins up with them, he can pick which of Nate and Adam goes. Jon tells Candice nothing happened. Jon, who is the center of the entire universe, interviews six or seven or 47 times that he doesn't know what he wants to do, and every choice he could make would make him an enemy somewhere. Hard to believe, since you're so likeable, Jon.

Tribal Council! Jeff asks Parvati what's up with Adam and Candice; she says, "They love each other! And they want to make babies!" I can't tell if she's being silly, or if that's really what she sees. God, I hate Raro.

Sadly, Jon gives a big farewell speech, but he's probably not leaving, so he'll get to give another one before too long. The votes start coming in: four for Nate, four for Yul. One left to see which way Jon thought the wind was blowing.

And it's Nate. Nate has the scowl to end all scowls as he stomps off the beach. Jon looks pained. Candice, Adam and Parvati look like it's penetrated their thick heads that this is bad news. Yeah, with Jon not on your side, and Yul still with the Idol, I think maybe it is bad news for you guys.

Jeff's understated Words of Wisdom are that this vote significantly shakes things up. Nate gets his money's worth on his Two Minutes' Hate, ripping Jon up and down. It's pretty good material, and I hope to see a few more people cursing Jon on their way out.

Next week: Aitu isn't sharing food! Candice suddenly doesn't like traitors! Everyone hates Jonathan!