BunkoSquad

While Ravu is on the verge of trying to catch ants for their six molecules of water weight, Moto is having a different problem: ants keep crawling up through their hardwood floor and nipping at them in their luxurious beds. So they paint the floor to close off the cracks. They have paint. Wouldn't it be easier to have Art Garfunkel come by with his compressor, and create a total vacuum outside the camp, and blow the ants out the front door? If only they had an inanimate carbon rod!

Back at Schaefer Stadium, Earl comes back from Exile Island. The Ravus - the ones who are able to stand - surround him and ask him if he has any water or fire or chocolate, but Yau Man fortunately doesn't give him the full pat-down.

Then Michelle, the miniature little lady on Ravu who I haven't really liked from the beginning, saves the tribe's collective butt by using her eyeglasses and the sun's rays to start their first fire. Now they can start torturing ants!

Reward Challenge! Ravu proudly admits they have fire; Jeff tosses them a flint as a present. I'm surprised Jeff just takes their word for it. Moto does some patronizing congratulating, then tells Jeff they've managed to cobble together a PC and a crude Wi-Fi network.

The challenge itself is pretty cool; the Survivors have to squeegee their way down a giant Slip-N-Slide and grab a numbered ball, which they then have to reenact the Pop-A-Shot at their local bar or arcade. It's Best-of-9, so let's go round by round:

• Anthony (Ravu) vs. Gary (Moto). Not knowing the slipperiness of the course, these two guinea pigs start out in a full run. Gary hits the deck - hard - but Anthony is determined to kill all the stereotypes about black guys and basketball, so Gary's shot goes in first. Moto 1-0.
• Rita (R) defeats Cassandra (M). 1-1.
• Boo (M) defeats Rocky (R). Good thing there's not a trivia component for these two mental titans. Moto 2-1.
• Stacy (M) defeats Michelle (R). I didn't even know Stacy existed until this challenge. So her first appearance, in a bikini, twisting and sliding down an oily mat, is a fine how-d'ya-do. Moto leads 3-1, but the viewers are the big winners.
• Mookie (R) defeats Alex (M). Not nearly as hot. Moto 3-2.
• Liliana (M) defeats Sylvia (R). Sylvia can't run and can't propel herself forward on the oil. Bad times. Moto 4-2.
• Dreamz (M) defeats Yau Man (R). I like to think that, under different circumstances, this Indonesian-American professor and the formerly-homeless cheerleading coach would be best of friends. Moto wins 5-2.

Moto has their choice of reward: fresh fruit, more fishing gear, or their luxury items. They take the fishing gear, and presumably Jeff and the camera crew eat all the fresh fruit, then are killed by a maniac with a pointed stick. They also elect to send Sylvia back to Exile Island, figuring she can boss around the sea snakes for a little while.

Moto gathers for another parade down Broadway. Dreamz says they're not going to take any prisoners, not even women and children, which could mean Fiji will experience another coup d'etat before the season is over. The only ant in the ointment is Gary, who's hurting after his fall-down. He can't breathe, he can't stand up, he can't think straight. Sounds like it's time to trade him to Ravu for a draft pick. But instead they summon the medics, who look him over and say it's not a cracked rib (which was the Moto consensus) but probably some muscular injury. They pronounce him fit to continue. Alex the Harvard lawyer, trying to look deeply concerned, says that Gary should put his health over the game. I think Alex has computed that 1/16 gives him a better chance than 1/17.

Immunity Challenge! We haven't seen the nasty food challenge for a long time, so Jeff has assembled a collection of unpleasant Fijian foodstuffs, and the Survivors prepare to chow down. Not quite the In-N-Out Burger, huh? Again, round-by-round, with the Iron Chef ingredients of choice:

• Liliana vs. Rocky - Raw Giant Clam. Rocky wins because Jeff's oral inspection of Liliana reveals that she hasn't swallowed the whole thing. Ravu 1-0.
• Dreamz vs. Sylvia - Octopus Tentacle. Dreamz wins handily. 1-1.
• Lisi vs. Mookie - Peanut Worms. I had no idea that Peanut Worms existed before tonight, and I hope to never hear of them again. They look like...trouble. That's all I'll say. Lisi barely keeps from barfing, and Mookie wins, then taunts Lisi. Good move, Mookie, like showing off after you hit a solo home run to make the score 14-1 Them. Boo starts hollering at Mookie from the sidelines. Rocky starts hollering at Boo. Jeff grins his evil grin. Ravu 2-1.
• Alex vs. Earl - Sea Cucumber. Probably the least disgusting thing yet. Alex wins. 2-2.
• Edgardo vs. Michelle - Fish Eyes. Maybe the best one yet, since you can just swallow them without having to bite and taste. Edgardo wins. Moto 3-2.
• Gary vs. Anthony - Pig Snouts, with little hairs on them. Gary jumps out to a huge lead - his bruised torso isn't an impediment here - and actually seems to be savoring them (mmmmm, snouts) while Anthony's trying to choke down his first one. Moto wins, 4-2.

So Ravu goes back defeated, again, and Sylvia's worried she'll be kicked out, again. And rightly so. Someone actually has the bright idea that, just in case she has the Immunity Idol, they should have a couple people vote for someone else they don't like, so Sylvia's one vote won't turn around and bite them. They make Anthony their designated patsy, because he apparently whines a lot and didn't eat all his pig snouts at dinner. Rita, for one, says she's going to vote for whoever she wants, regardless of tribal consensus. This is the same Rita, you'll note, who started the episode by preaching teamwork.

Sylvia, who's decided that the Immunity Idol is buried right in Ravu's cave, starts idly digging in the sand right in front of everybody else. No one seems to notice. You'd think Earl at least, who's been to Exile Island and has seen the clue that the Idol's near camp, would keep an eye on her.

At Tribal Council, Jeff eyes the raggedy Ravus like he thinks bringing in Norv Turner might be the only answer. He starts asking about trust and strength, and Ravu takes this golden opportunity to start bitching and moaning about Anthony. Mookie, in particular, was furious that Anthony didn't seem to be trying his all in the challenge, so he's beasting Anthony about that, and his work ethic, and everything short of his hipster engineer hat.

The voting is tense. Anthony and Sylvia trade votes until it's 3-3. Then a vote for Earl! (I suspect Rita.) That means the final vote will be a tiebreaker...and it's Sylvia. Who doesn't have the Idol. Looks like she'll be doing her bossing around and overorganizing from now on up at the Statesville Prison. Jeff's Words of Wisdom are that maybe a little honesty might unite Ravu. Honesty. It's such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue.

Next week: Gary's dying! Liliana's turning on the sexy! Ravu gangs up on Anthony!