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March 16, 2007

Al-Qaeda #3 Admits to Betting on Reds Games

WASHINGTON - The FBI released a surprising addendum to the 535-page confession of Khalid Sheik Mohammed today, with the Al-Qaeda leader and alleged 9/11 mastermind claiming that he gambled on every Cincinnati Reds game in the mid- to late-1980s.

"I always bet on the Reds", Mohammed said in his transcribed confession. "Whether a pennant-race in 1988 or an April game against the Expos, I wagered on them 162 times a year."

The gambling confession was lost amid the revelations that Mohammed may have been involved in the 9/11 attacks, the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, the bombings in London, Spain and Madrid, the killing of reporter Daniel Pearl, the disappearance of Oceanic Flight 815, the Lufthansa heist, the 1950s spread of communism through Eastern Europe, the 1918 Spanish Influenza, the defeat at the Alamo and the levees in New Orleans failing during Hurricane Katrina.

When FBI interregators tried to elicit some remorse from the sheik, he said there were some decisions he regretted.

"In 1986, I masteminded a defensive replacement in the late innings. Ron Oester made a critical error at second, and the Braves scored 2 unearned runs to win. Also, my willing lackeys in the dugout left Mario Soto hanging out to dry in a game in San Diego; he left with a 7-1 deficit. The Reds wound up losing 9-8. Maybe if we'd gone to Ted Power earlier, we win that game."

Cincinnati authorities are said to be very interested in the Sheik's revelations, as they're looking to clear up the unsolved case of the 1989 murder of Kal Daniels' potential.

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Posted by: Sooz | March 16, 2007 08:06 PM