BunkoSquad

At Camp Pleasant, Lisi and Stacey are basking in their luxurious surroundings, their wonderful food supply, and their general Motoan awesomeness, as if there's any reason they're in this tropical Eden other than Sylvia pointed their way in Episode One. It's not like either of you gals has carried a challenge yet, is all I'm sayin'.

But there's trouble in paradise. Gary's still having trouble breathing and seeing and smurfing and thinking. He's also being eaten alive by bugs. Lisi interviews that she doesn't want to have to babysit him through the day, as that would cut into her badly-needed idling time.

Reward Challenge! The prize is a lot of fish and rice and exotic spices, and hopefully ginger and saki. The teams line up on balance beams, and have to wriggle around (or over, not to spoil the surprise) one another to get everyone onto a platform. Lisi starts flinging Motos into the water one by one, until someone tells her to go over them while they crouch.

Despite an early lead, Ravu manages to settle back into their comfortable position of screwing everything up. I think the blame here is 20% Anthony, 20% Mookie, and 60% Total Lack of Communication. Rocky might see it differently. Moto decides to send Yau Man to Exile Island. Maybe they figure he'll find the Idol, since he's proven he's the only Ravu who I'd trust to find his own ass with a map of his pants.

Another loss, another Rocky Freakout! "Is this your farewell speech? Farewell to the troops?" Rocky's post-traumatic tirade is about a 8.2 on the meter. This tribe needs a motivational visit from Alec Baldwin...Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. Earl and Anthony go foraging; Earl says he's going to try to get Anthony's back.

At Moto, with all the creature comforts taken care of, they're ready to take a step up Maslow's pyramid. Liliana is giving back rubs to all the men; Lisi is skeptical about Liliana's "little diabolical Mexican mind" and how she might be using her sex as a weapon, despite the warnings from Pat Benater.

Back to the Papa Smurf deathwatch. He re-recounts his symptoms. So Moto has a choice. Pull a Weekend At Bernie's stunt to keep their number advantage, or bring in the medical team. The medics go to work on Gary as Dreamz worries that he's losing his only friend on the island. Remember the old Smurf Atari game? It was meant for little kids, so the smurf never got killed in the game...he just got tired. Well, Papa Smurf just got tired. The medics smurf him away to the medical boat and out of the game. And here's where today's Big Lebowski headline quote comes from.

Alex thinks this is bad news for the tribe. I guess in the sense of "it's a no-hitter in the 4th, and the batter just hit a long ball barely foul", it's a bad omen, but Moto still has all their pitches working. It will take a monumentally bad decision to shake up Moto! (ed. note: find an mp3 of an ominous chord to stick in here somehow)

Rocky's pregame pep take for the Immunity Challenge involves total nudity. So if you're scoring at home, that's total frontal Survivor nudity from Richard, Shane, and Rocky, if you don't count Parvati, Yul and Ozzie's hot tub escapades last year. If you're not scoring at home, this show probably won't help stir things up.

Jeff breaks the news about Gary to Ravu, who try to look seriously sad. The Immunity Challenge involves locking people up in cages, hopping over lilypads, and rowing a boat to form a human pyramid and rescue one more person. Now this would have been a cool Atari game. There's also a little sealed mystery bottle to be opened by the winning team.

Ravu starts failing early. Rita gets herself hung up on the lilypads for an awfully long time. But Mookie and Earl get the boat going, and it's actually shaping up to be a close race. Lisi, on the sidelines, cackles.

On the final lock, Stacey fumbles and stumbles with the keys, but they unlock Cassandra and get to the finish line. Moto 154, Ravu 0, if you've lost count. They open the little sealed mystery bottle which gives them a dilemma.

They can (a)switch to Ravu's dank cave but keep Immunity, or (b)stay in the stately pleasuredome but go to a Tribal Council. Considering they are up against a team they've beaten handily and repeatedly, early and often, and they only have a one-man advantage, I have to seriously think about keeping Immunity if I'm Moto. If they go to Tribal Council, they lose their advantage, they expose whatever cracks in the tribe have been hidden by their winning streak, and they maybe make Rocky show up at a challenge with no pants on. I don't take that risk if I'm Moto, but then again, I'm not in a position where I have to sleep in a dank cave if I pick wrong, so it's easy for me to say. But I think this is a Bad Decision.

Dreamz gets down to brass tacks, and says it's obvious that either Lisi or Cassandra has to go. "There's two people we can afford to lose, and I'm not pointing fingers" he says, in possibly the most self-negating sentence ever. Alex says he likes Lisi and wants to kick off Cassandra. Dreamz says he's all about fairness, which is charmingly naive, since he's not aware that there's a five-person clique forming around him. Liliana and Cassandra have a tete-a-tete, where Liliana says that she likes Cassandra a lot, but she doesn't want to make waves.

Then we're treated to a long - LONG - shot of a snake puking out a mass of ectoplasm the length of its entire body. I am so glad I don't have Hi-Def.

The Moto Brady Bunch meets and says that either Cassandra or Liliana(!) should go. Alex is pushing hard for Cassandra, Lisi is pushing hard for the diabolical Mexican Liliana. Edgardo, who is apparently one of the in-crowd, doesn't say a word. Boo, by the way, hasn't hurt himself yet this episode.

Jeff's in his glory; he gets to make his "ritual of tribal council" speech one more time. The Tribal Council mourns Gary a bit, then Lisi goes on a soliliquy about Dreamz' soliliquy, then Dreamz says no one interrupted his "shaquilla". Liliana says she's strong and should stick around; Alex nods and a very relieved Cassandra says some very nice things about Liliana. Liliana is completely missing the handwriting on the wall.

Boo doesn't impale his hand with the pen, so that's good. Lisi holds up Liliana's name and snarls, "The Alliance is five...not six". Man, I've turned on Lisi; I can only pray her destruction is legendary. Liliana watches the votes pile up in her direction and is shocked. "I'm so shocked", she says as she gathers her torch. "If you didn't get rid of me now, I was gonna beat ya", she says on the way out. Well, yeah, toots, that's why they voted you out.

Next time: Misogyny from Alex! Snippiness and yelling from (you'll never guess who!) Rocky and Dreamz. Liliana's Two Minute Hate is that everyone who voted her off is a liar and a weaking. I guess she'll be doing her diabolical Mexican backrubs from now on up in the Statesville Prison.