BunkoSquad

Because they're shuffling the tribes! As fun as it would be to bring back Sylvia to screw everything up again, everybody gets to pick someone - but it has to be from the other tribe. There's a touching moment as Rocky picks Dreamz to be on his team, then they run towards each other for a 25-mph head-butt. Which may not be the last time tonight you hear "Rocky", "butt" and "head" in close proximity.

The new teams are: Earl, Boo, Michelle, Cassandra, Yau Man and Stacy on this side, and Edgardo, Mookie, Alex, Rocky, Dreamz and Anthony on the other side. Lisi, the odd girl out, will go to Exile Island and come back to whichever team has to vote someone out, making this Immunity Challenge about as important as the battle of Gettysburg.

Lisi goes on a soliliquy about how maybe this would be a good time for her to be out, since no one picked her. Jeff asks if she's ready to leave; she talks for about 20 minutes (or did it just seem that way?) while Jeff keeps needling her, playing out the rope for her to hang herself. Boy, some tribe's going to be pleased when she shows up.

Edgardo picks a buff out of a bag at random, and the first team I mentioned gets to go to Camp Moto (Easy Street) while the second team goes to dismal Camp Ravu. Everyone has a surprise waiting for them at camp; I hope the new Camp Ravu's surprise includes a tape measure.

The new Motos go as berzerk as you might expect. Earl, in particular, is pleased as pie with his new team, that he created. He lounges on the bed, eats cheese (that was part of their surprise), and perceptively notes that Cassandra was on the outs at Moto-I, so she may be an easy person to swing over to vote with the Ravu-I-Moto-IIs. If that's confusing to you, you're still way ahead of Boo, who sits there and considers all the ramifications of the shakeup. The look on his face is exactly the same look he'd have if he showed up unprepared for a Trigonometry final in only his underpants.

Meanwhile, there's no tape measure at Ravu-II, but the testosterone is so thick you could whack it with a broom. Rocky, trying to bond with the manly men, says he loves the ladies, but he's really happy to be with all guys. Rocky, that is the gayest-sounding thing in the history of Survivor, and I haven't forgotten about Brandon the bartender.

Meanwhile, Anthony interviews that he's having horrible flashbacks to the high school locker room, and thinks that maybe being a kind, sensitive soul is not a good long-term positive when you're rooming with the Duke lacrosse team. If I were Jeff here, I'd forcibly switch Boo and Anthony, then make all the challenges crossword puzzles.

Back to Moto-II, where Cassandra is not wasting any time showing that she knows which horses to back. While Earl and Yau Man fish, she brings them cups of coffee (which they hadn't had much of in the Black Hole of Fiji, and thankfully there was some coffee left that Stacy hadn't dumped on Dreamz' head).

Somewhere in all this, we go back to Exile Island. All of the snakes have left the area thanks to Lisi's presence. She babbles for a while, but it seems to have sunk in that it might be a good idea for her to develop some sort of mechanism between her ears and her mouth, that might filter some of the things she says. Something called...let's say a "brain".

At Ravu, the presence of the Moto-I's seems to have a salutary effect on the situation. Dreamz and Mookie go fishing just as the Great Underwater Sponge and Fish Migration of the South Seas occurs; they're hauling in nasty-teethed specimens by the bagful. Rocky, Alex and Edgardo are catching crabs (quiet, you) by the bucketful. And Anthony is tending the fire. I'm honestly surprised that Rocky isn't making him wear a pink apron. Alex says he's loving the manliness! Just like the Village People!

Rocky says, "On paper, we're a superpower!" Unfortunately, you're playing on sand, not paper.

Immunity Challenge! It's actually a pretty good one, as everyone's strapped into some kind of deal with long sliding sticks, and they have to use communication and teamwork to negotiate said deals around a maze. It's mostly communication and teamwork at first, but every time they round a corner, Stacy winds up all in Ravu's business, and there's entanglement and pushing and shoving. I think Dreamz actually gets bisected at one point. Moto wins!

Which means that Ravu gets to vote someone out, then welcome Lisi. Astronauts have gotten into spacesuits, immediately after a cabbage dinner, with more enthusiam than I'd be feeling right now.

So the politicking begins; will they kick out Anthony, who's reserved and polite and thoughtful (which translates into Ravuian as effeminate), or will they kick out Rocky, who's boorish and bullying and sounds like he's played football for 10 years without a helmet? What the hell do you think they'll do?

There are some fireworks at Tribal Council, and Rocky tells Anthony he's got to stand up for himself and not let bullying pricks like Rocky push him around. You heard me right. Anthony finally snaps (in a somewhat reserved manner) and points out that in a tribe that loses and loses and loses, there is some reason to keep your mouth shut, conserve your energy, and concentrate on doing something other than losing, as opposed to shouting your way through the day.

Rocky won't let it go - he knows that if Anthony goes, he has no one to bully, and if he himself goes, he'll be shouting at the chambermaids at the hotel, which isn't as satifying. So he gets in every ounce of venom he can, while the other Ravu-IIs bury their heads in their hands and start actually looking forward to the Lisi era.

They vote, and it's Anthony in a landslide. Looks like Anthony will be tending the fire and tending the sorrow in his heart up at the Statesville Prison from now on. Next week: something happens. I wasn't paying attention because I had high hopes for Anthony's Two-Minute hate, but was disappointed there too. I love this game!