BunkoSquad

Back to Moto, where Yau gives the camera all of the insight on race relations and harmony that they were hoping for last season. He and Earl are tight as can be, for two guys who come from the same state. And they seem to trust each other implicitly. "I never expected to ally with a big strong black man," he interviews. Word is bond, Yau.

Reward Challenge! It involves flamethrowers, but I dare not hope that Rocky and Lisi have a medical emergency in their future. I'm at the point now where I don't just want to see them voted out; I want a Nightmare on Elm Street thing where several of the Survivors die grisly and ironic deaths before plucky Yau, Earl and Cassandra kill Freddy Krueger, or at least shelve him till the next sequel.

Moto keeps just missing their targets, and Ravu wins its first challenge ever by setting stuff on fire. If the reward challenge is "smash the department store window", we might have a game here. Earl gets sent back on the Exile Island shuttle. Rocky and Dreamz exchange the most long-awaited man-hug since Roger Dorn suckerpunched Rick Vaughan, then pulled him back up to his feet.

Ravu's reward is a chance to experience authentic Fiji, assuming that authentic Fiji involves hot dogs, billiards and bowling(!). At least there's an authentic Fijian there to welcome them. Rocky challenges his teammates to see who can "put the most food in their piehole", then bows himself out of the challenge, since his piehole is badly needed for shouting and complaining purposes.

They eat, they drink beer, they bowl, they play some video golf simulator (I'm no Tiger Woods, but Rocky's drive posture makes him look like a bit of a sissy). Lisi says she feels more comfortable being around a bunch of guys; thankfully the producers edit out the part where she enters their burpin' and fartin' contest. Rocky, continuing his quest to look more masculine than a mustachioed, leather-chap-clad cowboy, says of his bowling stance, "Everything about me is pretty". Lisi laughs that laugh that makes blood vessels pop in the back of my eye. Mark it zero, Dude.

A perfunctory look at Earl, who's dubbed Exile Island "Earl Island". That was going to be my joke for this paragraph, jerk. Earl does spend his time sketching a pretty cool Earl Island logo in the sand.

Back to the Fiji Fun Center, where most of Ravu is feeling glutton's sorrow. Mookie and Alex beat feat for the gents', while Rocky, who as you remember decided talking was more important than eating, berates everyone for eating so much. I'm now trying to decide if it would be more fun to see Rocky offed by Freddy Krueger, or by Kevin Spacey in Seven.

Time for another pop-in at Moto, where for some reason, Boo is convinced that Yau Man will be first to go. Let's see, one one side you have Earl, Yau and Michelle. One the other side, you have Boo and Stacy. Then there's Cassandra, who's been treated like crap by the latter two and has been getting friendly with the former three. Yeah, Boo, those numbers add up.

While the other Motos snooze, Yau Man starts creating a false idol, which would get him in big trouble with the ancient Israelites, but could throw a sock in someone's soup if they're dopey enough (Boo) to fall for it. Hee hee.

Immunity Challenge! Five of the six teammates will be blindfolded; the other one has to guide them, one by one, into a penned-in area where they have to whack a skull (real? Jeff only knows) with a club, then recover puzzle pieces. Michelle decides to be the yeller for Moto, Lisi for Ravu. The tiebreaker is that they have to call a square dance.

Ravu quickly switches to Alex yelling, because the sound of Lisi' voice is that enjoyable. Boo famously reveals that he may not know his left from his right. Mookie keeps slamming into things. Michelle, at one point, gives orders so enthusiastically that she goes flying off the platform. Boo takes over, possibly already having forgotten that he doesn't know left from right. Despite this not inconsiderable handicap, Moto solves their puzzle first and wins!

So now the only question is whether the BunkoSquad "See Ya Rocky" Party or the "Adios Lisi" Party is scheduled for tonight. Alex and Edgardo, showing some actual brainpower, figure that Rocky is slightly more annoying, much more abrasive, and has a 1-13 record in challenges. I think their decision is made.

Dreamz is exhibiting a mild case of Stockholm Syndrome, saying Rocky really isn't as bad as he thought, and maybe he should jettison Lisi. Rocky says Lisi has to go, because all of Rocky's decisions who to vote out have been good decisions. Mookie just wants to do whatever will keep Rocky from hollering at him. Lisi's socks feel dirty, so she goes to the sea to wash them off. This tribe is a piece of work.

At Tribal, Jeff mostly is hoping to poke Lisi's brain wounds until she snaps. She's wearing a cloak of sanity, though, and says that coming back to the game recharged her. Rocky says the group is tight, and really looks like a man (well, a doofus) who doesn't know he has minutes left to live. They vote.

And nobody since Clubber Lang has gotten such joy out of saying that Rocky has hit the mat. Looks like he'll be pissing everybody off up at the Statesville Prison from now on. Unfortunately, Jeff announces that he's the first member of the Jury of the Damned, so we'll be seeing his sorry puss trotted out every week from here on out.

Jeff's Words of Wisdom show that he has no idea what's actually going on at camp: that Rocky was totally taken by surprise, and it could happen to you. Well, if you're a callous, loud buffoon, maybe. Rocky's postgame interview is a little more shouting and bitterness.

Next week: Lisi sobs! Boo dances! Ravu digs! No Rocky!