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January 27, 2007
SuperBowl XLI Preview
I meant to file this report from Monon, White County, Indiana, exactly halfway between Chicago and Indianapolis, but quickly realized that would be stupid. But since the record shows that I called SuperBowl XL as a 24-17 Steelers win (actual final score: 21-10), let's go back and look at the intangibles for Sunday's matchup.
Sports Suffering. Chicago, in my lifetime, has a Superbowl win, six NBA titles, and finally, a World Series title. Indiana has one NBA Finals appearance and maybe some college sports championships. I guess even two 90+ year baseball droughts is better than, literally, nothing. Advantage: Indianapolis.
Coaches. What do Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith have in common? Duh! They were both born during the Dwight Eisenhower Administration! Anyway, Dungy has had his teams knocking on the door for years, whereas on the other hand, Lovie? Lovie?!? I could buy Huggy Bear Smith, or Walter "Sweetness" Payton, but a grown man named Lovie? Advantage: Indianapolis.
Uniforms. Impossible to pick. These are two of the NFL's classic looks, which the teams have wisely avoided messing with over the years. The Bears will be wearing black, the Colts white. This is an honest to God tossup.
Music Scene. Chicago has the Smashing Pumpkins, and Liz Phair (Liz...call me). Indianapolis has...radio stations. Advantage: Chicago.
Quarterback: Peyton Manning, taking a break from his TV-pitchman career, is a QB stat machine. Mentioning the name of Bears QB Rex Grossman makes everyone in Chicago make a grim face and reach for the Mylanta. Advantage: Indianapolis.
Politics: Chicago politics are full of corruption, graft, cheating, and larger-than-life crooks. Indiana gave the world Dan Quayle. Advantage: Chicago.
Food: Indiana's not really famous for any food; Chicago's mostly famous for the deep-dish pizza. Chicagoans, however, will slap you if you order ketchup (or catsup) on your hot dog. I believe in freedom of hot-dog choice, plus I like ketchup. I'm partial to catsup, too. Food fascism earns you no points from me. Advantage: Indianapolis.
Annoyance Factor. The only grudge I have against Da Bears is an old one. The fact that Walter Payton wasn't able to score a touchdown in Superbowl XX, while William 'The Refrigerator' Perry, Coach Mike Ditka, punky QB Jim McMahon, defensive stalwart Mike Singletary, Superfan Bill Swerski and the late Brian Piccolo were all permitted to reach the end zone in the Bears' 234-3 win over New England. Indianapolis, on the other hand, is very very annoying, for reasons that begin with "Peyton" and end with "Manning". Advantage: Chicago.
BunkoSquad readership. Hoosiers: If you're out there, you're quiet. I know a few of my fans have Chicago connections, though. Advantage: Chicago.
So the final tally is 4-4-1. The tiebreaker will have to be the Colts' superior offensive firepower and surprisingly able defense. Final score: Colts 34, Bears 20.
Posted by Michael at 11:35 PM | Comments (4)